Countdown

We rode Dry Creek this morning (Friday). I hadn't been anywhere near that area since July 5th, so approaching the Redwood Exit, I started getting nervous. But the nervousness quickly subsided as I geared up in the chilly, morning air that I love. We only did a portion of the route, but I felt good, felt strong. I plan on doing the whole thing sometime soon.

Before going home, we drove up the backside of Mt. Veeder. It's as steep, narrow, and curvy as I remember. Around every other turn, I'd ask, "Is that it?" And then we finally passed it. We continued up to the area where I started my 36.6 mph descent on that fateful July morning and then back down to the accident site where we stopped for a bit. As I stood at the ditch, i thought, " ... oh, we're in front of Mt. Veeder Winery ... what a pretty sign ... i thought the ditch was wider than that ... " I turned around, looked up at the hill that I'd mismanaged, and tried to imagine myself coming out of the last two turns, the path I probably followed, the trajectory I most likely took, and then turned to the spot where I most likely landed. I just stood there awhile. Valle vs. Veeder. It seemed surreal.

But the hill hasn't won. The game isn't over. I'll be back for a rematch ~ December 15th. Wanna come?

I Said No!

Andrew and I rode again Thanksgiving morning! First ride w/ his clipless pedals, so I was a bit worried ... but he did great. He'd been doing 7.5 mile rides, so I was determined to get him to the Lake Herman exit this time. Didn't quite go as planned, but it was a pretty funny ride, nonetheless.

We stopped where he's been turning around to head back. He drank some water, and I asked if he was ready for more. He said nope. I'm turning around right here. We bantered back and forth till he finally agreed to ride out a little more ... just past that tree over there, I said. Well, he rode waaay past the designated tree; and when he stopped, he turned his bike around to make it perfectly clear that he wasn't planning on riding out any farther. I asked anyway, "You gonna ride some more after you rest?" He just said, "NO." So we turned around and headed back home.

I laugh because it reminds me of the first time I rode the Lake Herman Loop. There was a spot where I stopped, turned around, and refused to go any farther. I argued because I was sure if I went all the way to Lake Herman, I wouldn't be able to ride back. I begged, I pleaded. My friend simply said, "NO!" And we turned around and continued back up the hill.

Although he didn't make it to Lake Herman, I DO give Andrew credit for doubling his regular mileage and riding 14 miles. I added miles towards the end of our ride :-) Rolling again this weekend.

By the way, I mentioned being ready to take on Mt. Veeder soon. Andrew and the girls immediately gave a resounding "NO!" Do I really have to wait till THEY are ready?

Happy Thanksgiving!

One of my favorite quotes ... "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." ~ Unknown

Moments come and go so quickly, not to be repeated again. So why limit life?

While we may not be physically able to do some things at certain times of our lives, I remind myself, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

I can think
I can love
I can learn
I can anticipate
I can hope & dream
I can cry
I can share
I can get caught up ...

Don't hold back - experience it all. Smell the roses, and hold your breath.

I love it when ___ takes my breath away. You fill in the blank.

... a song
... a scent
... a sight
... a word
... a touch
... a memory
... a friend

Look for those colorful moments everyday and give thanks!

Look Who's Riding!

We've ridden together three times now for a total of 20.1 miles. Andrew's doing really great. I'm hoping he'll be open to doing the entire Lake Herman route Thanksgiving morning. Notice his gear? I'll be getting his clipless pedals tomorrow :-)

On Guard

Remember I quoted C.S. Lewis? "God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when he catches us, as it were, off our guard.” Well, I read that in fencing, the guard is a position of readiness assumed by a fencer with body and weapon to prepare for attack, defense and counteroffense. A fencer first assumes the guard from first position.

Now, I've never taken up fencing, but that is SO me. And it became all the more real to me when I received an early morning call from Hawaii on Sept. 30th. Though very much appreciated, the call woke me up before I was able to ... put on my guard ... and my response of tears really surprised me, though it shouldn't have. I was, after all, feeling disappointed, discouraged, and left behind ... though I rarely acknowledged it.

See, I was supposed to ride in the Honolulu Century on Sept. 30th, but it's been almost 2 months since it's come and gone. And it's taken me this long to blog about it. Though disappointing, missing The Marin Metric wasn't hard to get over, since I was able to see the team at the finish line. Missing Honolulu, on the other hand, stirred up emotions in me that caught me totally off guard. I'm better now, but in retrospect I really was okay back then too.

I feel like I always need to be strong, and I realize I am not. But instead of being disappointed in myself, I'm realizing those moments remind me of how much I am in need of my Savior, Jesus Christ. What wonderful opportunities to experience fresh revelations of His presence in my life.

I Love My Peeps

God has brought some wonderful women into my life, at this time of my life. They're not perfect, they're real, authentic, and transparent, God-honoring women who make me laugh and think and cry and pray. We share moments weekly, even daily ... moments that God knows I desperately need. They are Supportive, Entertaining, and Xuberant, and they remind me to pause and to enJOY today.


PS ~ Andrew and I have been riding! 5 miles on Saturday and 7.5 miles today. We'll shoot for 10 this weekend. Riding with Andrew has been good for me, as I have the tendency to push myself way too much for my own good right now. But the moment he starts catching up to me or passing me up - I'm high tailing it into another gear ;-)

Downtime

Feelin' better after deciding to give myself some much needed (biking) downtime - not that I'm doing all that much. But it's amazing what no calendar, no schedule, no goal, and no measuring can do. It's all self-imposed, really ... the pressure and expectations. But with Andrew getting his bike, and with his "I'm not doing no endurance event, I'm doing this for my heart" statement, I've found myself sort of easing up on the "training mentality" and just feeling excited to be able to spend some time on the road behind him! Funny thing is, he hasn't been able to ride yet. After he bought his bike, his gout flared up. But we're hoping to do some pedaling around this weekend. Even HE is looking forward to it! And you know what? I'm kinda missing golf!

Just a medical update - I've been given a clean bill of health from my physical therapist! Though I will miss Petra and her warm, German-accented, chit-chattiness ~ I will NOT miss her jaw-bone stretching treatments ;-) Now just my orthodontist and chiropractor appointments. Whew.

(My surgery was 4 months ago today.)

The Body Knows

I guess I was pretty exhausted last week. Monday night, I fell asleep at 8 pm and didn't get up till 7 the next morning. I took it easy in the middle of the week. But then last night, I crashed out early again with a horrible headache. I'm not normally a napper, so I guess my body just wanted some much needed rest.

Now that I'm working again, I'm having trouble keeping to an eating and drinking schedule, like I used to when I was training. It's very easy for me to get caught up in projects, and by the time I know it - it's 2 in the afternoon! I'm not doing a very good job at remembering to take my meds either. There's just so much to keep track of and do that it really does get kinda irritating after awhile. There were the twice daily, occupational therapy exercises with the clay ball and elastic band that I've just totally omitted from my regime. There's the cheek muscle stretching thing I'm supposed to do morning and evening. And then the meds - five different pills (some horse-pills in size), oh and not to mention the morning protein shake with which I'm supposed to start the day! Thank goodness the doctors' appointments have dwindled down. I know - I seem like an organized person ... and in most other cases, I really am. It's just gotten a bit much for me. I can't imagine what those going through chemotherapy and radiation treatments have to go thru. (I can hear you cancer survivors going, "Ya, that's nothin!)

Me -I'm not fighting for my life. I fell. I got an owie (a big one). And I'm recovering. I know that. But I can't tell you how emotional this journey has been and still is for me. The questions, the frustration, the thankfulness, the disappointments, the gratitude, the guilt, the exhaustion, the bursts of energy, and then the exhaustion again.

I can't even begin to imagine the ups and downs of those battling with cancer, fighting for their lives. So please, if you remember, continue to pray for me, and continue to pray for those whose lives have been forever affected with cancer. The road is so much longer than we think ... I just thank God we never have to walk the road alone. Thanks to those of you who've been there.

"As it were"

“What seem our worst prayers may really be, in God's eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling. For these may come from a deeper level than feeling. God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when he catches us, as it were, off our guard.” C.S. Lewis

"As it were." Is that like when we talk and motion open and closed quotation marks with our fingers when we say "a certain word"? Meaning to say, this is what we're saying, but we really don't mean what we're saying, but I know you know what I'm REALLY saying?

I've recently become more prayerful, as it were ;-) Not that I've physically been on my knees more, but that the posture of my heart has changed ... as I just flat out tell God stuff sometimes, without censor. Try it. Draw near to God, and He'll draw near to you. And don't worry ... God will never be surprised by what you have to say or feel.

So ... I've been thinking ... I should probably change the name of my blog. My posts have been few and far between, mostly because my rides have been just as frequent. And alot of times, the things I have on my mind have nothing to do with riding anymore, but with the unexpected things I'm learning about myself as I'm NOT riding as much. But we'll see. Feel free to suggest a title or two ...