But then in a later post, her trainer tells, "It's not the lack of riding that will keep you off form, it's the inability to back off when necessary."
What a timely message for me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Withdrawals
So I'm not crazy! While I'm nowhere near the athlete that Selene is, her latest post entitled REHAB makes me feel so validated! She basically talks about going through withdrawal as she tries to give up cycling for a week.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Dr. Jill
At the advice of one of my doctors, and in preparation for my upcoming surgery, I've met with an LCSW / Behavioral Therapist for a few sessions.
We talk for a bit ... about the accident ... about what I've overcome ... and about things to come.
We discovered, acknowledged, and learned a few things:
...I minimized the trauma in my own mind in an effort to feel in control, and because I feel like I should just be grateful to have survived such a horrific accident.
...Though to me it seemed like the most logical thing to do, completing my cycling events is something not everyone would have been been able to attempt, and that alone has aided in my healing.
...The truth is - it was a traumatic event, the effects of which (with the loss of my teeth) I'm still having to deal with today.
...I have a resilient spirit and determination - traits that I don't celebrate enough.
...I have apprehension over the upcoming surgery. (Just when I'm feeling like I've made progress and am feeling back to normal, I'll undergo the knife and face more recovery time.)
...I have guilt over having put my riding buddy in such a stressful situation, post-crash, and want to make sure he's okay.
...I still dismiss how I'm really feeling for how I SHOULD BE feeling. For example, I SHOULD BE glad for this next phase, as it brings me closer to not having to wear these dentures. I SHOULDN'T be talking about my frustrations when they pale in comparison to my friends' bout with more life debilitating illnesses.
At first, it was a little awkward, as I really didn't know what to talk about, ask, or say. I just knew I was stuck. Talking with Jill (who asked lots of questions) helped to sort things out. She often gave me "homework" to help me work through or clarify things. Though I have been talking with lots of people who've been a huge support system for me in my recovery, Jill helped to fill some gaps in my progress, so that I can move forward with more clarity and more tools for what's to come.
We talk for a bit ... about the accident ... about what I've overcome ... and about things to come.
We discovered, acknowledged, and learned a few things:
...I minimized the trauma in my own mind in an effort to feel in control, and because I feel like I should just be grateful to have survived such a horrific accident.
...Though to me it seemed like the most logical thing to do, completing my cycling events is something not everyone would have been been able to attempt, and that alone has aided in my healing.
...The truth is - it was a traumatic event, the effects of which (with the loss of my teeth) I'm still having to deal with today.
...I have a resilient spirit and determination - traits that I don't celebrate enough.
...I have apprehension over the upcoming surgery. (Just when I'm feeling like I've made progress and am feeling back to normal, I'll undergo the knife and face more recovery time.)
...I have guilt over having put my riding buddy in such a stressful situation, post-crash, and want to make sure he's okay.
...I still dismiss how I'm really feeling for how I SHOULD BE feeling. For example, I SHOULD BE glad for this next phase, as it brings me closer to not having to wear these dentures. I SHOULDN'T be talking about my frustrations when they pale in comparison to my friends' bout with more life debilitating illnesses.
At first, it was a little awkward, as I really didn't know what to talk about, ask, or say. I just knew I was stuck. Talking with Jill (who asked lots of questions) helped to sort things out. She often gave me "homework" to help me work through or clarify things. Though I have been talking with lots of people who've been a huge support system for me in my recovery, Jill helped to fill some gaps in my progress, so that I can move forward with more clarity and more tools for what's to come.
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