Oh How He Warms My Heart

Well, he's finally gone and done it!

Andrew bought himself a bike on Sunday, and oh how it warms my heart!

We'll take a spin around the neighborhood soon :-)

Wanna Race? (Ya right)

18 miles this afternoon, but feeling somewhat uninspired ... and left behind. Someone told me, "It's not who finishes the race first, but that you finish." I said, "Ya, but I'm not even IN the race yet!"

So I'm just chugging along, keeping to my 10% mileage increase per week. (Though I can now add a mid-week ride of half the mileage on my indoor trainer.)

I think I also miss is the comraderie that comes with coached trainings and group rides. Good news is ... Andrew's alot closer to buying a bike of his own!

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

If anyone knows how to post songs on their blog, please let me know. Woke up this morning with a song in my heart ... this song by Queen :-)

"Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like"

Everybody sing it now ....

The Tan Line Fades

I had to take a break which was really hard to do. But I rode yesterday for the first time in a couple weeks. I didn't notice till after I put my shorts on, but my biker tan is fading. An indication of my deacreasing time out on the road. Always hated the tan line. Now I kinda miss it.

I had a good ride. Around mile 12 this SUV pulls up behind me and slows down. I try to stay focused and keep pedaling. I get a little creeped out, though, as the window's rolling down. But this really sweet guy (Andrew) calls out, "Hey, how ya doing?"

Nice surprise, Honey. Thanks for checkin' on me.

Words of Wisdom from a Survivor

I want to share this email I received from a courageous friend of mine ... Thanks L. for your courange, your friendship, and your inspiration ...

Dear Family and Friends,

As most of you know - October is BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH and it was two years ago this month that I finished chemotherapy for my breast cancer! By the grace of God, I continue to be healthy and cancer free and I am very grateful for that. The purpose of my email is two - fold. First, I want to encourage you to shop at Safeway this month. They have thousands of items that are tagged "pink ribbon" and a portion of the proceeds goes to the Safeway BC Foundation. These are normal items you would purchase anyway - everything from meat to snacks! Kmart and Raleys have lots of pink ribbon items as well. Second, since my "journey" through breast cancer, I have had a lot of time to think about things that were said and done by well meaning people that were just plain WRONG. No sour grapes here, though, my intention is to educate you and help cancer patients and their families that you may encounter in the future. So I have compiled a list that I will entitle:

THE TOP 10 WAYS TO HELP A CANCER PATIENT & THEIR FAMILY

1) Say, "I'm praying for you." And then DO IT!

2) Treat your friend/relative the same as you did before their cancer diagnosis. Throw in a few extra hugs.

3) Share a story about a friend/relative who BEAT cancer and keep stories about all those who died from it to yourself.

4) Offer to do something helpful like bring a meal, do yardwork, or clean their home.

5) Take their kids on a fun outing such as to a park or movie.

6) Send LOTS of cards. Amazing how a simple card could lift my spirits on the darkest of days!

7) Even though you may be curious, DO NOT ask specific questions like - "How big was the tumor?" "How many lymphnodes were involved?" "How long have you got to live?" The cancer patient will give you the amount of info she/he is willing to share.

8) Be a good listener. You don't have to be a problem solver or give advice.

9) Be sensitive about what you say. A cancer diagnosis is more than a bump in the road of life, is not always preventable through diet/exercise, and the bright side is not getting a pair of new Pamela Anderson breasts!

10) BE THERE to support your friend through this difficult time. As tough as it is for you to see your friend in pain, it's even tougher for your friend to feel the pain of abandonment, as if having cancer wasn't enough.

So, there it is. I hope each of you will NEVER have to use these tips in the future, but unfortunately, I know many of your friends/family, and possibly even you, will battle this disease in the coming years.

Thanks and much love-
L. Clark
2 1/2 year breast cancer survivor because of HIM in whom I put my faith and trust.

FINE

"How ya doing?"
"I'm fine ..."

Fine ... Someone told me "fine" is code for ~

F - frustrated
I - insecure
N - neurotic
E - emotional

~ which is how I often REALLY feel :-(

I'm frustrated at not yet being fully healed.
I'm insecure about my ability to complete a century.
I'm neurotic about getting back on some kind of a training schedule.
I'm emotional about feeling like this, when I know I should just be grateful to be alive.

So that's how i'm really feeling.

I Am Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; too lofty for me to attain. Truly you have formed my innermost being.... I give you thanks that I am fearfully, wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:13-14)

I thought I was ready to kick it into high gear with my cycling regime. It has been 3 months, after all. I'd been going out riding and increasing my mileage by two miles a week. Once I was able to do my house to Lake Herman and back (16.5 miles), I figured I was ready for more. It had been my short, easy ride prior to my accident, so surely I was ready!

My goal was to increase my mileage every other day. That way I still had a rest day between rides. I did ...

12 miles on Thursday, 9/27
16 miles on Sunday, 9/30
17 miles on Tuesday, 10/2

I felt strong during the rides. It's recovering from them that I'm having trouble with, now that I've increased my weekly mileage. It started on Wednesday ~ I felt fatigued. Someone asked me if I had just woken up ... this was at 5:30 pm! My face was slightly swollen again, and I could definitely feel it in my chin. "Good thing it was a rest day," I figured. "Surely I'll be ready to ride again on Thursday.

Thursday rolls around, and though I'm not as tired, I start to feel some pain in my face. Back to the cold compresses that night. (OH ~ we were invited for dinner Thursday evening by one of the families who brought us a meal after my surgery. I was not able to partake of her delicious dish, since my jaw was wired shut. So they had us over and made it again for us Thursday night! Yumm-O!)

Friday ~ I take it easy, because though I felt better than Thursday, I didn't want to relapse. So definitely no early morning ride ... but maybe I'll be okay by the afternoon? And then it rains ... DARNIT! I WAS SOOO GONNA RIDE! Good thing I didn't though ... Because this morning, I didn't get up till 9 am. I must have really been tired, because I ususally can't sleep past 7:30!

Am I disappointed? Not so much. I knew I'd have to see how my body responded to my new goal and adjust accordingly. Though it seems reasonable in my mind, I'm learning how to listen to my body, which is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Up and Down

Life can be alot like this staircase. It's beautiful, isn't it? Almost like a piece of art. Sometimes we're going up; sometimes we're going down. Sometimes we can't see where we're going, and it's scary. Sometimes we CAN and it's even more scary ~ paralyzing at times.

I get frightened on stairs where I can see between the steps. I wanna go up, but the thought of falling is terrifying, and I get stuck. Sometimes I even have to go back down.

But the staircase is beautiful, none the less, a work of art ... and so am I ... and so are you.