Words of Wisdom from a Survivor

I want to share this email I received from a courageous friend of mine ... Thanks L. for your courange, your friendship, and your inspiration ...

Dear Family and Friends,

As most of you know - October is BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH and it was two years ago this month that I finished chemotherapy for my breast cancer! By the grace of God, I continue to be healthy and cancer free and I am very grateful for that. The purpose of my email is two - fold. First, I want to encourage you to shop at Safeway this month. They have thousands of items that are tagged "pink ribbon" and a portion of the proceeds goes to the Safeway BC Foundation. These are normal items you would purchase anyway - everything from meat to snacks! Kmart and Raleys have lots of pink ribbon items as well. Second, since my "journey" through breast cancer, I have had a lot of time to think about things that were said and done by well meaning people that were just plain WRONG. No sour grapes here, though, my intention is to educate you and help cancer patients and their families that you may encounter in the future. So I have compiled a list that I will entitle:

THE TOP 10 WAYS TO HELP A CANCER PATIENT & THEIR FAMILY

1) Say, "I'm praying for you." And then DO IT!

2) Treat your friend/relative the same as you did before their cancer diagnosis. Throw in a few extra hugs.

3) Share a story about a friend/relative who BEAT cancer and keep stories about all those who died from it to yourself.

4) Offer to do something helpful like bring a meal, do yardwork, or clean their home.

5) Take their kids on a fun outing such as to a park or movie.

6) Send LOTS of cards. Amazing how a simple card could lift my spirits on the darkest of days!

7) Even though you may be curious, DO NOT ask specific questions like - "How big was the tumor?" "How many lymphnodes were involved?" "How long have you got to live?" The cancer patient will give you the amount of info she/he is willing to share.

8) Be a good listener. You don't have to be a problem solver or give advice.

9) Be sensitive about what you say. A cancer diagnosis is more than a bump in the road of life, is not always preventable through diet/exercise, and the bright side is not getting a pair of new Pamela Anderson breasts!

10) BE THERE to support your friend through this difficult time. As tough as it is for you to see your friend in pain, it's even tougher for your friend to feel the pain of abandonment, as if having cancer wasn't enough.

So, there it is. I hope each of you will NEVER have to use these tips in the future, but unfortunately, I know many of your friends/family, and possibly even you, will battle this disease in the coming years.

Thanks and much love-
L. Clark
2 1/2 year breast cancer survivor because of HIM in whom I put my faith and trust.