The Challenge of The Waterline

"The depth of a soul is not measured by what appears on the surface."  ~ Unknown

Some just don't wanna go there.

I dare you.

De Nile River

I have to confess. I used to think I was white.  

Even though I was born in the Philippines, we moved to the United States when I was just one.  My dad was in the Navy, and we lived primarily in the East Coast ~ Maryland, Connecticut, Washington DC, and Virginia.

I think I was one of three Filipinos in the entire school my freshman year of high school, and either there were even fewer of us in my junior high and elementary schools, or I just wasn't as aware of my being different back then.  

My parents never taught me the language, Tagalog, for fear I'd have trouble learning English.  And they never spoke the language outside of the home, except with relatives in their homes. 

Thankfully, I was never the brunt of discrimination or prejudice.  

When my dad retired from the Navy in 1983, we left the East Coast and moved to Vallejo where, as a 10th grader, I think I experienced culture shock.  With so many other Filipinos around me, and then them  speaking "the language" to each other in public, I was just appalled.

 So ... while I have since recovered, there began my denial.  And reading Pati's book, "The Oracles," once again reminded me to value of both the pains and joys of life.

In her book, she vivifies this clash of cultures that's not at all restricted to the Filipino's.  But more than just talking about the conflict, she helps us to embrace generational and cultural differences, also leading us to find value in both the joys and pains of our upbringing. 

I've read "The Oracles" and had the privilege of hearing her do a book reading at SF State last night.  I bought the book for one of my pastors who said (and I quote with permission), "This redneck honkey really enjoyed her book."  :-)

I hope you'll pick it up and read it too. 

You can listen to Pati read excerpts of her book by clicking here.

"Fireproof"

It's not just entertaining, it's life changing. Married or not, I hope you'll go see it. But go soon, because it won't be in the theaters long.

Quietus

Jesus posed this question to his disciples, "Who do you say I am?"

This week, I've been with a friend whose husband passed away at the age of 57. We sat together in the hospital room during his last days where I witnessed the tender moments of a wife saying farewell to her love of 33 years. I had to divert my attention at times, feeling as though I were eavesdropping on her most intimate thoughts. We went to the mortuary the following day where vital stats were transcribed onto forms and items were selected for her husband's interment. And just yesterday, I caught glimpses of his life and personality as our Pastor conversed with her in preparing for his memorial service.

What one word describes him best?
What were his hobbies and passions?
What were his pet peeves or quirks?
What was the funniest thing he ever said?
What were your last moments with him like?
How did he influence others to be a better person?
What did he teach you about God?
When you see his picture, what will you remember most?
Is there a particular scripture that was his favorite?
What do you want people to walk away with when the memorial service is over?

Needless to say, it's been a heavy week. But more than contemplating my own mortality, it's caused me to take a long, thoughtful look at my life and how I'm living it today. How would someone answer those questions of me? Who would they say I am?

In John 10:30, Jesus said, "I and the Father are one." And in John 14:9, he said, "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father." As a follower of Christ, can I say the same thing? Is my life a reflection of Christ's? Does my life point to God the Father?

This is my ultimate life challenge.

Which Superhero Am I?

Turns out I'm Supergirl. Take the quiz and tell me which one you are!

You are Supergirl

Supergirl 76% Wonder Woman 71% Superman 70% Iron Man 65% Green Lantern 60% Spider-Man 55% Robin 53% Batman 45% Hulk 45% The Flash 40% Catwoman 30%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

All I Want For Christmas

It's been just over a year since my cycling accident, and while I don't want my life defined by it, I can't deny the impact the accident has had and continues to have on my life.

I guess you could say I'm in the restorative stages.  My jaw and chin are fully healed, and the only evidence of my facial trauma is a small keloid scar just to the left of my nose for which I'm having quarterly steroid shots.  Oh ... and then the fact that I keep my teeth in a little tray at night :-D  Other than some residual flu symptoms, I'm no longer having any accident-related issues, and I'm finally able to eat fried chicken, pizza, and hamburgers without a knife and fork :-D  I'm feeling back to my old self again.  Actually, a better, stronger self.  

I think that may be why I'm experiencing some apprehension with what's next for me.  Other than my dentures (there, I said it) I'm finally feeling back to normal.  

So what IS next for me? Bone grafting, tissue grafting, dental implants, then restorative teeth ... another year of medical/dental work and a huge dent in the pocketbook ... (a $30K dent), since the insurance companies consider the work to be cosmetic.  Ya, that's right.  

It makes me nervous on many levels.  First, I didn't think I needed the grafting, but it turns out I lost more bone and gum tissue than originally thought.  Normally, the bone would be taken from the jaw or the chin, but since I've had trauma in those areas, they'll take the bone from my hip.  So just when I'm feeling back to my old self, I'm gonna have to go through another surgery and more physical recovery. I have an appointment in a couple weeks with my Maxillofacial Surgeon to find out the specifics of the procedure and recovery time.  Maybe then, I'll be able to wrap my brain around it.

Second, I'm nervous about the cost.  I think I'm NOT in a panic about it because the amount is just so absurd that I, again, can't wrap my brain around it.  So as the holidays are rolling around, "all I want for Christmas is my 4 front teeth."

"Magnificent Obsession"

One of the things that helped me complete my cycling endeavor is that I have the tendency to get a little obsessive and regimented when I attack a new project or new endeavor.  Even the word "attack" gives you a clue to my mental state that served me well while training.

After the completion of my events and my Team in Training experience, however, I've been trying very hard to not throw myself into "my next challenge," and even THAT is a challenge. LOL.

I have resolved to redirect that same focus and energy into things that ... not that I've neglected them ... just things that are ever the more deserving of my heart, my time, and my attention.

Here are the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Magnificent Obsession," a song that resonates with me and my hearts cry ...

Lord, You know how much 

I want to know so much 

In the way of answers and explanations 

I have cried and prayed 

And still I seem to stay 

In the middle of life’s complications 

All this pursuing leaves me feeling

like I’m chasing down the wind 

But now it’s brought me back to You 

And I can see again

This is everything I want 

This is everything I need 

I want this to be my one consuming passion 

Everything my heart desires 

Lord, I want it all to be for You, Jesus 

Be my magnificent obsession

So capture my heart again 

Take me to depths I’ve never been 

Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy 

Return me to the cross 

And let me be completely lost 

In the wonder of the love 

That You’ve shown me 

Cut through these chains that tie

me down to so many lesser things 

Let all my dreams fall to the ground 

Until this one remains

You are everything I want 

And You are everything I need 

Lord, You are all my heart desires 

You are everything to me

You are everything I want 

You are everything I need 

I want You to be my one consuming passion 

Everything my heart desires 

Lord, I want it all to be for You 

I want it all to be for You